Sorry Janata Party’s Smart Electoral Strategy

The BJP Workers at the State Party HQ were brimming with confidence. “Our leader has told us not to be scared of the voters,” said a worker. “To quote him he said, I swear they are not going to kill you’”.

“Well, is he going to accompany us,” his colleague queried. “I mean, without his security staff?”

“No, he said he knows the people better than the people know him.”

“Thank God,” his friend sounded relieved. “I was petrified and thought people will be furious at us for all the scams.”

“Me too,” the worker confessed. “Our leader revealed that if we say sorry to the people they will forget all about it and then will come in droves to vote for us. People accept scams when you accept your mistakes, he said.”

“Excellent strategy,” the worker clapped admiringly. “No one can match our leaders’ ability to be honest with the people and not honest with themselves. We are definitely a party with a difference.”

“But how many times do we have to say sorry?” his friend wanted to know. “Will one sorry suffice for all the scams or is it one sorry for each scam?”

“Depends on how sorry the concerned person has reason to be,” he clarified. “It varies from one Minister to another.”

“The opposition may panic if we try to win people’s sympathy by saying sorry. They may even call us as Sorry Janata Party.”

“Well, in that case we should remind the people that the BJP is a party started by stalwarts who have either said sorry or refused to say sorry. Either way we are different.”

“I think we are going too far with this sorry business,” his colleague said doubtfully. “It might lead the people decide to teach us a lesson.”

“Believe it or not, our leader has thought of that too,” his colleague smiled. He says we should tell the people that we have already learnt the lesson.”

 “People are funny,” his colleague remarked once again caught in self-doubt. “What if they ask us why we forgot to govern all these years?”

“Let us take the people into confidence and admit that our MLAs were busy forming a government of their people, by their people and for their people.”

“And we ended up having more governments than governance!” his colleague brightened. “That it shows we were trying too hard too soon!”

The worker looked a trifle uneasy. “I think we should divert the people’s thinking away from us. Otherwise we will feel like a number eleven batsman facing the world’s fastest bowler, with 7 runs to score off the last ball of the match.”

 “By the way,” his colleague whispered, looking hither and thither to make sure there was no one nearby, “who is OUR LEADER??

The worker replied sheepishly, “Actually, I don’t know either. I am told there will be different leaders at different times, depending on who holds sway at that point of time.”

“But the opposition may taunt us that we can’t even agree on a single leader.”

“The High Command is working on that. Maybe it could be like the olden day movies where no one has seen the face of the villain who sits behind a dark tinted glass. I think this time we are going to the polls with neither the party workers nor the people having any clue about who our chief ministerial candidate is.”

The worker’s face softened in understanding. “Don’t worry. We’ll get more votes if we don’t reveal who our leader will be. Once people know who our leader is going to be, they might panic and vote for the opposition.”

By K.S. Muralidharan

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